I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
