Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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