Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
