i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
