Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
