What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
