I need help removing her.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
