oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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