My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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