"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it glows. i had to have it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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