I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
