shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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