I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Randomize
