did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
