They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
