The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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