So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
