we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i drank out of a bidet.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
