We're like a lot better than the average bears
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
