We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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