Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
