I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize