And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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