Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize