I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
