just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize