I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
