to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
