I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize