If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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