oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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