So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
