they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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