forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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