I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
