I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
