i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
