Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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