he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
