And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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