hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
