so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
