So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
