I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize