dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
