were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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