you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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