if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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