So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
