things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
