im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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