there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
