Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
