im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
