Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You smell like stripper and shame
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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