I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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