Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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